A Closure.

The year is coming to a close in just a few days. Just a few thoughts on my mind. 

1. God is gracious

God has been tremendously gracious, as He has always been. There were plenty of rather significant events that have happened in 2012–joining The Crossing Church, the commencement of a 4-year ministry in NUS, loss of a relationship I held so dearly that I got it all wrong. Through joining the church, I have learnt much more about Jesus than I used to, and have made some close Christian friends whom I know are committed to lead a life worthy of the Gospel we believe in. Uni ministry has been a challenge, but I am glad that I’m working alongside fellow workers of the gospel, and people who are keen and eager to spread the good news of the gospel to the non-believers. I got a better look at myself through the eyes of a love lost due to my blindness and immaturity. I still have a long way to go, and there are many areas that I believe I need to improve on. Not so much to get back the relationship, but because it reflects my inner-self. 

These events have molded me into who I am right now, standing before God, with nothing but a soul that needs to be saved. I’m not worthy of the salvation God provides, I’m utterly sinful–in thought and deed. The bible tells us that Jesus came to save the sinners, not the sinless. Jesus Christ, the perfect and sinless, came to earth and took our sins to the cross in His death, so that we can be made right with God through His blood. Grace, great and wonderful grace of God. It is beyond all measure, beyond our wildest imagination. 

Being human, I have turned against this gracious God countless times. I am as terrible a sinner as you who reads this. Not once has God turned away, but all the time, He calls me back. I am assured of a God who listens, a God who seeks me and pulls me out of darkness, a God who is willing to send His one precious Son to die on the cross. A wretched me doesn’t deserve it, not a single bit. 

2. Pride/ego is a stumbling block

Unsurprisingly, I’m a victim of pride, or you can call it ego. Pride can be loosely defined as the desire to take control of our own lives and put God out of the picture. I would say that pride has caused me to stumble once and again, yet I do not learn from my mistakes because I was unwilling to become humble and admit my weaknesses. 

Pride is scary. It comes in different forms and it’s more subtle than we think it is. But when it strikes, someone will get hurt really bad. I am a victim of the effects of my own pride. I was unwilling to admit that I did not understand because I did not want to look ignorant. I did not want to turn down tasks and made empty promises because I did not want to be perceived as incapable. The image that I have of myself is ideal, and it is not the real me. I cannot expect myself to know everything and be able to do everything, but pride tells me that I can. 

This scary inner-self has cost me great losses. It is something that I see in myself and feel utterly disgusted about it. At least I see it now, and know that I should head in the direction of God, and no longer seek to depend on self. 

3. Assurance and Instructions from God

Colossians 2:6-23

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead. And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.

Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. These are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ. Let no one disqualify you, insisting on asceticism and worship of angels, going on in detail about visions, puffed up without reason by his sensuous mind, and not holding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and knit together through its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God.

If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— “Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” (referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.

Ephesians 6:10-20
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.

  

It's like pulling off the scab and exposing the raw flesh. That's how it felt like. I wanted to know what it's like under that piece of hard skin that covers a healing wound, even though I know that it's going to be painful when I lift up this protective cover to expose what's underneath. It's bleeding again, and it hurts. It takes some courage to pull it off, and more to face the consequences. It will take time to heal, as wounds do. Even as wounds heal and do not become painful after some time, a scar remains. A scar reminds us of what we have been through, and it will ever be so clear in our minds. But, we don't just stay here and cry as the wound heals, we move on, and we grow up. No one said it would be easy. It's the journey that counts. We learn about what we want, and avoid what we do not want. I just hope that I still can have you as a friend.

O Lord, be my guide and pillar of strength.

Justification by faith

I believe that for many Christians, the term 'justification by faith' isn't new at all. It is one of the core doctrines of the Christian faith. However, as with other pillars of our faith, it is often overlooked and taken for granted.

We are counted righteous through faith in Jesus Christ alone, and are justified by our faith. Justification is the declaration of righteousness, or being right with God. Jesus Christ is enough and more than sufficient. Often, self-righteousness creeps into our lives and take over. It's persistence and subtleness makes it ever so dangerous for Christians. Some of us turn out to become like the Pharisees, pagans, prosecutors, or even performers. We think that we are right with God because we do certain things, or because we are better than other people in some ways. But the bible says that that isn't the case.

Works alone cannot bring about righteousness or justification. Works, or deeds, are responses to our faith in the sufficiency of Jesus Christ and the cross, and it comes together with faith, for faith without works is dead. It is not by keeping laws that we are saved, or by the circumcision of the flesh. Only through the death and resurrection of Jesus, and putting trust in that, can we be made righteous before God, for the righteousness of Jesus has been imputed on to us.

There is nothing that we do that can make us right with God. All things amount to nothing. Turn to Jesus, for he is all that we need.

As the exam season draws to a close in a couple of days, I can't help but feel a slight sense of relief. Everyone's going to take a slight breather for 6 weeks before we start going full on for the second semester.

It has been tough preparing for exams, as I fight alongside my peers and against them. I'm learning together with them, yet competing with them at the same time.

It is important to keep my focus on Christ, especially at this particular stage. I have to, and I must continually remind myself to be in this world, but not of it. Results can only bring me that far in life. The certificate can only last till I get hired, and I will not be able to bring it along when Christ comes again, or when I'm returned to dust. These things mean nothing to God. It is through Christ that I receive forgiveness of sins and redemption from the jaws of death. I do not need good grades to be right with God. I only need Jesus Christ. If the results turn out bad, thank God, for he has given me something greater than anything that this world can give.

Thank you, God :)

Hits. And misses.

There have been plenty of times when things just don't go the way we wished they had happened. Tangible stuff, and intangible ones. It's as easy to misplace trust in someone as it is hard. Feeling hurt is becoming nothing more than a mere state of mind. The pace in which things move around us, we can never keep up with it.

Sometimes I wonder how it will be like if I could just live in a world of my own, I don't have to talk to people, I don't have to be concerned about what others are concerned about. That isn't any good either. Thoughts of being alone is unchartered territory, somewhere I do not wish to dwell for I am made to be relational.

Picking up from lessons I have learnt and moving on, I have resolved that it is pointless to put absolute trust in another person. I thought I trusted someone I knew well, but it was never trust at all. I am now full of doubt and skeptical with whatever is said, tainted with my perception of whom I've lost my trust to. It might grow into something malicious, or tables might just turn. It is beyond my control. I do not know what is going to come.

God has never failed. He has not failed and he will never fail. He is who I trust, He is who I have absolute faith in. You can beg to differ by all means, but you will not even shake me because I have my feet firmly planted. I will not move, I will just trust and pray.

I have met new people who are supportive and encouraging. God has placed me in a community of Christians in the midst of a mission field. Hand in hand we will put on the full armour of God and head out, not fearing because of our hopes in Christ. Can I trust those I fight alongside with? At the current stage, yes. We all start out trusting others till that trust is breached. The road is tough, but those who are in Christ are unbeatable.

A Curse Word

Ending my 10th week in NUS, I have found a new curse word that seems to make people feel more uncomfortable. The word is 'rest'. 

It isn't hard to understand why students are seeing 'rest' as a word that we don't mention, or even think of it in the first place. Just look at the number of assignments due, the number of assessments, the social pressure that you must do well to earn a respectable job upon graduation. It is easy to pack our schedules with work that we forget about rest, or give excuses to not rest.

It might good to zoom out and take on a macro perspective. It has become a 'culture' in Singapore that the importance of rest is diminishing. Top down, the government continually preaches the importance of good education and competition so that we can stay ahead of competition. Parents often want their children to be better than other children of the same age in all aspects, which explaining the booming and thriving tuition business in Singapore. Students flock to schools to prove that they can be better by scoring more distinctions in their exams, not so much of the networking and building of friendships. How about rest? Do our generation know what is rest?

I take a full day of rest every fortnight, spending my time doing things I like and reflecting, with minimal influence from work. A time away from work allows me to find my footing before I drift too far off. Rest is important for balancing work and life, it is vital for spiritual well being. 

It will be hard to change the culture, but the best thing that we can do is not follow the culture. Knowing what is more important and having the trust in a God who keeps his promise has allowed me to take a break in peace, for I know that he has the ultimate control over all things. Be in this world, but not conform to its values. Live as light in this dark and fallen world.  

The Preeminence of Christ

It has been three weeks. I humbly admit that it hasn’t been an easy time. I am learning to embrace my emotions and to cope with the fast pace of how things are moving. Over and over again, I have to remind myself of the purpose of things and continually seek God for guidance. It isn’t going to be about pride. Pain is real, suffering is real, death is real, and God is real. God did not say that men don’t cry, or there won’t be any suffering at this time, if I think I am suffering. But God promised eternal life and salvation to those who turn to Jesus Christ. 

It is a process of humbling myself before God. It is a time of bravely putting aside things of this world for the sake of Christ, knowing that we have our treasures laid up in heaven, not on earth. Yes, but what does that actually look like in our lives? How do we as sinners live a life worthy of God?

There is only one answer, Jesus. Only the gospel of Jesus Christ should rule our lives and whatever we do or think about, they only glorify Christ. Nothing else, no one else. I am confident of saying this because of the very person of Jesus, every single part of Him and who He is. 

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister.Colossians 1:15-23, ESV

Staying calm in the midst of rush for grades

It's exam day, and inevitably, people discuss about how much they have prepared for the exam and hope to beat the bell-curve, or how hard the paper was after the exam. Some talk about how badly it will reflect on their CAP, and how much more time they want to spend studying.

Where is our hope? Good grades can land you in a good paying job in the future, earn you some pride, or even friends. It is practical, I have to admit. But there is something more important in life. Grades do not earn you a place in heaven, nothing that you achieve in this world can, except for trusting in Jesus Christ. It doesn't matter if I perform badly during exams, because I know that God has good plans for me and there is something greater than I am looking forward to than a first class honours.

The Incomparable Challenge

Not enough evidence to prove its truth. Christians are hypocrites. Usually when you hear about people rejecting Jesus, they are one of these two reasons. I am sure that there are more. But what exactly is the reason for rejection? It is none other than our pride. Pride affects both Christians and non-Christians.

In the Book of Luke, Jesus was preaching at the town of Nazareth, where he was brought up. He read a passage from a scroll written by the prophet Isaiah, saying “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me, to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.” (Luke 4:18-19) The crowd was initially in awe of what Jesus has said, basking in the glory of God's grace that He has sent someone to set them free from their sins. But all they wanted was actually signs and miracles, which Jesus has performed again and again outside of his hometown. Shortly after, they realise that Jesus (a person whom they have watched him grow up and stay in the carpenter's shop) was saying that they are poor, captives, blind, and oppressed. Jesus was telling them that they are spiritually bankrupt, and they are so sinful that they can't do anything about their sins. And they needed a saviour to get them out of this state. What Jesus has said was offensive to them. Their pride was making them furious. They have rejected God's grace, that was available through Jesus. 

Jesus then draws up two examples from the Old Testament. First, he spoke about Elijah and the widow of Zarephath (1 Kings 17:8-16). During that time, there was a great famine. God sent Elijah out to a faraway non-Jew region to a widow. Elijah asked the widow for bread, but the widow only had a handful of flour and some oil to spare. Elijah gave her a promise from the LORD, telling her that ‘The jar of flour shall not be spent, and the jug of oil shall not be empty, until the day that the Lord sends rain upon the earth.' The widow was in a desperate state and realise her need, and she trusted God. Indeed, God kept His promise. From here, we see that God's grace is extended to all, regardless of who we are.  

Next, Jesus spoke of Elisha and Naaman (2 Kings 5:1-14). Naaman, a non-Jew, was a leper. One day, he went the land of Israel because he heard that the lord is with a prophet, and he could heal Naaman of his leprosy. When Naaman reached Israel, he was expecting some signs from God. But what he received was Elisha telling him to wash himself in the Jordan river seven times. He was furious. His servants, being wiser than him, and told him to do as the prophet Elisha has said. Putting aside his pride, he went down to the Jordan and did as told, and he became clean. Again, we see that God's grace is for all. And it is necessary for us to put aside our pride. 

Do we recognise our spiritual bankruptcy and see that we need urgent treatment that is only available through our gracious God? We need to let go of our pride in order to be rescued. The problem does not lie with Jesus or the bible. We are the problem. As Christians, a lot of times we want to take control of our lives and overlook what Jesus has done. The best way to love, I think, is not to keep the gospel to ourselves. But to keep praying and trying to reach out to more people so that they hear of God's grace and recognise their spiritual bankruptcy. Christians, look at yourself. It is not about what you do ultimately, but put your trust and hope in Christ and what he has done. Nothing is more important than that. 

Uni Ministries

It is great news to know that there's a sizeable number of Christian students in the largely secular universities in Singapore. The same rules hold: live in religious and racial harmony to safeguard the nation's security. We live alongside the Muslim, Buddhist, and other smaller religious groups around the campus, thinking of how to evangelise (maybe) while trying hard to be sensitive to them lest we say or do something offensive. 

I've been in NUS for half a semester. So far, I have seen or heard of 5 Christians group on campus. Some official, some not. I am rather heavily involved in two of them. From what I can tell so far, as a freshman, these groups, even though Christian, they say, do not exactly share the same values. I am not qualified to comment on all 5, because I have no clue to how all of them work except for the 2 that I am in. 

Regenerate  

"New Lord, new life, in Christ – receiving, growing and continuing in the new life in Christ"

Regenerate was planted in NUS by staff from one of the churches in Singapore. The main aim of regenerate is to help students understand the bible better through expository teaching and exploration of the bible during bible studies, led by full time bible teachers from the church. We use tools from the book "Dig Deeper" to help us discover and dig deeper into God's word. 

The bible studies were largely helpful, and I would say with certainty that they are focused on Jesus, not what we do. Being a fairly new ministry in NUS, regen has grown over the past couple of years. I have found myself learning a lot more and encouraged to read to bible on my own, using the tools and skills taught during bible studies. Having the bible as the core of the ministry is important, because the Word of God is not replaceable by any other human ideologies or literature. 

USP Ministry

"We are united by the transforming power of the gospel, working together for the advancement of the gospel in our community."

USP Ministry is a fully student-led and student-run ministry. It caters to the Christian community in the NUS USP. The main aim of this ministry is to gather Christians in the programme, encourage each other and work as a single unit to reach out to the community both in the residential college and the university. Similar to regenerate, students come from different churches that teach different things about the bible, and have slightly different values. However, the absence of bible teachers means that no one is there to teach the bible, or to ensure the validity of what was being shared during devotions. 

Without a proper structure, USP Ministry has been rather slow and cold to respond to needs of the ministry. When a problem arises, there isn't anyone you can approach to discuss about what can be done. There's an extremely high tendency for people to stick within their own comfort zone. Being a Christian community, if you do not even know what your issues are within the ministry and just want to remain status quo, nothing can be done. 

By no means am I saying that God won't touch the hearts of the non-believers in the community. We are called to live lives in a manner that honour and glorify God. We have to start with our Christian community before we say that we want to reach out. No amount of equipping and knowledge will be useful if they are all kept to yourselves. How can you love others when you don't first love Christ and your brothers and sisters who are in need?

I am in no position to judge either ministry. If I have to, I will choose to drop the USP Ministry. Yes, it has potential to grow and it is a good initiative. But I am not comfortable with a group that does not embrace the gospel and what we are taught we ought to do.   

a new chapter

Full of tears, I begin a new chapter in my limited time I have in this world. Broken, beaten, thrown into a corner, writhing in pain, and weeping non stop. Things haven't been easy, and they won't be if we continue as infants in this fight of faith. Things do not and will not always turn out the way we want. Grow up, I tell myself.

God has promised many things, but the greatest promise is salvation. It is hard to believe that things will ultimately turn out well seeing that things never ever go my way. The bible did not say that things will, but instead promised persecution and struggles. True enough. Here's the hard part of things. I'm cut off, and it is time to find myself in God's big plan. Put my trust in Jesus. It is going to be a vertical uphill battle.

I don't know what to expect from life. I can't cope with so many things going on in my life. I'm hurt, very very hurt. I have lost a part of me, among many other misplaced hopes. I don't know what to do, I feel like just giving up. I'm not handling this well. Why do I still bother so much about things? Why am I still here? What's my purpose in this world? It's time for me to go, isn't it? Why should I still be struggling here?

Fear? Fear Not.

Where do I stand as the only Christian in my immediate and extended family?

On the surface, it seems like I'm fighting a losing battle. I'm losing my cousins to the other religion that runs in the family–Buddhism. With relatives so eager to tell me about how good buddhism is and bad mouthing Christians, I sense fear when I want to tell them about the goodness of God and His Son. I fear souring the family ties, I fear that I won't be able to talk to them about Jesus in a loving manner.

Deep down in my heart, I know that I am not losing at all. Turning vegetarian, burning joss sticks and papers, and keeping to a strict rules set down by other people do not earn anyone a place in the kingdom of God. What we do will never be enough for us to enter God's kingdom. I repeat, what we do will never earn us a place in God's kingdom, because it will never ever be enough. It is only through Christ that we can. Christ is the one who died for our sins and he is the one who has risen from the dead to be at the right hand of God. It is through Jesus Christ, the propitiator, that we can enter the kingdom of God. 

Believe in Jesus and you will be guaranteed a place in heaven. It is not about what we do, but what Christ has already done. 

Difficulties of a Christian student in a secular university

As I look at my schedule before the start of each week, I will notice the "empty" slots for sure. Those are just time slots that I have nothing planned beforehand, not free time. Each day as I head to business school, I think about how I can better make use of the limited time I have. My schedules are packed to the brim and I am stretched to near maximum. How can I set myself apart from the rest, but still be able to build good humanly friendships? I don't think I will ever stop thinking about relating to other people. I don't live in God's world with Christians only, and Christians face problems in life too, not that everything is smooth sailing all the time. Sometimes, I think that Christians think about more things and struggle than non-believers for a very good reason.    

I struggle daily with all the temptations around me, the money-centered values in business school, the people who are aiming to bring you down and trample all over you. Being a Christian isn't an easy task to begin with. Each of us are then given different difficult circumstances to be in, and we strive (I hope) to behave in a Christ-like manner all the time. I want to glorify God in all that I do. People know that I'm a Christian, they are all watching and waiting like vultures to see how I fail as a Christian, and pounce on me when they see that I've blundered. 

Students from all faculties, well-read or poorly-read, strong or weak speakers, all have their own idea about who Jesus is. Some (mainly Christians) are for the biblical view, but many are not. Those who disagree with the bible will usually try to disprove the validity of the bible because they believe in some other pagan deities, had a bad encounter with overly aggressive 'evangelical Christians', or misplaced hope that God will do something that He did not promise. A few others see themselves as god. It is a mission field in uni, and it can be a battle field. It's a battle against different schools of thought, 'Christians' (they said they are, but believe in something else), people of other faith, and those who think that the world revolve around them. Responding to them in love is important, but that does not mean giving in to everything that they do. Stand up for our faith in a loving manner, pray for the non-believers and unbelievers, put aside all the Christian pride what we have. All to be done in love. Never stop trying or looking to God for guidance. 

It is ultimately not about what I do, or how I fail as a mere human, but what Christ has already succeeded in doing. I don't earn my salvation by doing good in front of people. I live not for money, fame, or pleasure. What I do does not change the fact that God is good and Christ died for all humanity, regardless of race, gender, family background, height, weight, how much paper we burn, how well we keep to prayer times, or even the number of figurines we own. It is always about Jesus and never about me. 

Thank you, Jesus, for your love and abounding love.  

Work-Life Balance

There seems like an endless flow of work piling in all the time. Looking at the work plan for this semester, it's only the start. I'm getting almost all the slots on my timetable filled up with something everyday, every week. Assignments due, reports to write, interviews to plan for, project groups to meet up with for discussion, bible reading, bible studies to attend and prepare for. 

How am I going to spend my time? It isn't all about grades. It is about God. 

I've been thinking about how I can talk to my neighbours about God, how I can live out a life worthy of the gospel I have heard, how can I encourage Olivia in her walk with Christ, how can I relate to other Christians better, how can I relate to God better. It is a commitment I want to make to have God in every single aspect of my life. It is such a good news that Jesus has suffered and died for my sins and he has raised us up in him in his resurrection. A great and amazing love that calls us to believe and respond. How do I live my life for Christ?

 

Marriage.

Watching Derek wait as Gloria walks down the aisle, it's simply beautiful and moving. 

Marriage is a milestone in the lives of many. For some, they celebrate a life of celibacy.

Marriage is more than just walking down the aisle, the wedding day, having kids, enjoying sexual intimacy and living together. It is a celebration of love, involving submission of the wife to the husband (on the basis that the husband makes godly decisions) and the husband loving his wife as how Christ loves the church. Christ has the ultimate headship and full submission should be to Christ alone, in recognition that we make mistakes and are sinful by nature. It is a covenant made to the spouse. God has clear instructions for both the husband and the wife, each according to how they are created as male and female. And we are to fully commit to and follow these instructions. 

It isn't an easy path leading up to marriage for many. Many couples have to tackle challenging issues they have never faced before prior to courtship. There could be disagreements, disappointments, unhappiness, and possibly lots of hurt. Some couples decide to break up, but there are many who get married at the end of courtship. By no means am I saying that every single courtship will see a marriage at the end of it, but it is marriage that the couple in courtship should be looking forward to and working towards. To reach that goal of marriage isn't an easy task, it is about bringing two sinners together and becoming one flesh. 

I am glad that I am able to witness two good friends of mine making the promise to love each other till the day Christ comes again or when God calls them home. May they be able to live out a Christ-centred marriage and be a good testimony of God and an example to the couples in courtship around them. 

Building Blocks.

It is never by my own works that I am saved.

It is perfectly normal to muck up my life when I start to believe that I can do better with my own strength and take things into my own hands. It is not about self, it is not about how many books I read, how much time I spend reading the bible, how much of the bible I know, how I interpret the bible, how many bible studies I attend. Those things come as a response and as a result of faith. On their own, they are without meaning. Those things do not make a Christian a Christian. What then is the basis of my faith?

It is the trust in Jesus Christ, who has shed his own blood and died for our sake, so that we could be reconciled to God again. I did not have to offer up any offering or to die on the cross so that I could be redeemed from the consequence of my sin. God came as a man in Christ Jesus to die on the cross to redeem us. God-man Jesus died for our sake. A sinless God died for the sinful humans. A righteous God came and suffered in the hands of the unrighteous for the unrighteous.

But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it- the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.  -Romans 3:21-26

Why then do I still have the tendency to take things into my own hands? It just doesn't seem right for both are contradicting and can never exist together. It is either I give to total control to God and trust in him, or take things into my own hands and drive my own life. I can't have both, no one can. Satan is still angry, and he seeks to take people away and to die with him. This death is more than just physical, it is spiritual and eternal death. It is either I believe in God or I don't. There's no sitting on the fence. Choose life, or death?

I choose life, and it is going to be a fight of faith. There can't be a greater promise from a God who keeps His promises than the gift of eternal life for those who believe. People against God will stand up against us who believe, but we are told to trust and be strong in our faith. Those in God will prevail when his holy Kingdom comes again. Trust, and stay firm in Christ.

When we believe, what should our response be? I would not want to go back to my old ways. If I did, it doesn't make a difference whether I believe or not. We are told that we have to be born again. We will be transformed by his Spirit. What becomes my priorities? What drives me? Why do I want to do things in a certain way? I do it not because by doing so God will love me more or so that I will give the impression to others that I'm a good Christian. It is because Jesus has died for me, and there's nothing more than I could do than to believe and be a good testimony, so that people may see and glorify Him. It will not be for self, but for the sake of Christ. If I continue to dwell in trusting in my own strength, it is just a matter of time before I muck things up all over again.

Make a wise choice all the time. I'm saved, and I will and want to live out a gospel-worthy life.

Finding myself in a place that makes it hard.

I do not consider myself to be a mature or good Christian. I did not grow up in a Christian family, neither do I have many Christian relatives. I barely knew anything about Christianity, not that I know plenty of what it means right now. Raised in a family where there's a trace of violence, I did not even dare to tell someone how I feel. To avoid being at the receiving end of flying objects, all I had to do was to hide and keep quiet and work very hard to produce results. It wasn't an easy time growing up. I didn't make any close friends, I was confined to a place where I live, but do not really love. I'm afraid to voice out, because I'm hardly given any chances to. I keep everything to myself, and once in a while it becomes unbearable and everything starts to spew out. Then it starts again. Things often look fine on the outside, but it is just a veil that hides away all the brokenness, emotions, hurt, and fear. I still live in the shadow of my past up till this day.

A few years back in secondary school, I heard about this man called Jesus. He came to save us from our sins. I recall the song that sings "Broken hearts, broken lives, He will take them all". How great a God he is, no? I took the plunge. I confessed my sins, I recognized this God who is willing to take me in, I said that I am going to believe in Him and trust Him and lift all my troubles and worries up to Him. It was short-lived. I could easily point out many factors to explain it, but there are two main ones. My parents, even though they said that it was okay, did not give their full approval. All they do was just to stop me from attending services. It was hard for me to even get out of the house. The group that I joined, one that I thought was how a church should be like all the while, did not talk much more than living a life as a morally righteous person, in the eyes of the world as people-pleasers. The word of God was just secondary, if existent at all, wasn't expounded clearly. I did not grow much, I'm only as mature as I was when I recognized this saviour by the name of Jesus. I was not content with what I have, with how I'm doing, I do things for the sake of my parents, for the sake of myself, for the sake of pleasing others. I didn't know who is my ultimate master. I was lost.

A couple of years ago, I got into a relationship that I thought would eventually lead to marriage. It was all rosy in the beginning, everything seemed fine by worldly standards. I started to read more and learn more about Jesus and God's works. I'm still me, I did not manage to step out of my shadow in a new life. I dragged her down with me. I thought I had found a person that I could confide in, but I wasn't able to put aside my past and trust anyone. I don't even trust myself. I became so consistently inconsistent that I can't even recognize myself. Who am I, really? Trying so hard to trust myself and to rely on another person was the biggest mistake I had ever made in my life. I'm still bearing the consequences of my own mistakes, and I have inflicted hurt on and breached the trust of someone I love. Everything has fallen back onto me and crushed me. I found out that it is hard to love. It is not a feeling. It is an action, and the motivation stems from within us. Selfishness never ends in anything good. If it seems good, it's temporary.

I was in a terrible state for the past few days. I had no motivation to do much. I have to find out who I really am before I cause any further hurt and learn to truly love, and before I could even tell anyone about God's works with a true and sincere heart and mind. I took time to read the Word, about God's works, about His redeeming work on the cross, about how much he cares about all sinners, about who we are called to be if we believe in Him. His love and righteousness goes out to all, Jews and Gentiles alike, because we have all sinned. I fell, and I cried really hard. It was a cry that calls out to God for help, in recognition of my wretched state and my need of a redeemer. I was helpless, torn, broken down and totally exposed before God. It is such an impossible love by any human standards, but it is possible with God. He is a God who calls us to be His own, who seeks to reconcile us to Him.

I am by no measure worthy at all to even hear of His word. I lied, I idolized human relationships, making trust in another person the most important thing of my life. Yet He has called me to turn back from my ways and to be His. I'm thankful and filled with humility, wanting to seek Him wholeheartedly. But, where do I start? Am I about to fall back into the shadows of my past again? How do I step out of it with courage?

All I can do right now is to pray in distress. If I take things into my hands again, it isn't actually myself who is in control, but Satan is. It is tempting to take the wider gate, because it is the easier way out and the whole world is doing it. I want to take the narrow gate even though it is the tougher route, but it is the one that leads to life. There will be persecution, I will face trouble, even from my parents and relatives if I choose to follow Christ. It will be a hard time ahead, and maybe being away from home will be a good time to learn. I still have to face it, running away is not a solution. I have tried to escape the realities of life, only to find myself tossed back to a position that is worse than before, in utter hurt and emotional breakdown.

~

To anyone who reads this, I seek your sincere prayers to this God who protects, strengthens, promises eternal life. It is not because of what I do that draws me closer, but because of the very fact that Jesus has already died and was raised to life again. I do not know what lies ahead, I do not know where will I be heading towards. All I know, and the most important of all, is that Jesus died for me. Lord, may you shape me to be the man you want me to be, for I am yours. Even if what it takes is anything drastic and painful, I am willing to take it up. For I know my strength lies not in myself, but in Your very glory, and that You are with me.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."  John 3:16

He is a God who transforms is by giving us a new life, one that is eternal.
  

God's New Community. (Part 1)

Let me start by asking a question. What is a church?


Is this a church?
 


That isn't a church, it is a building where a church gathers.


It is important that we, as Christians, use the word 'church' correctly. Some people used it of the building where we meet on Sundays; they said 'Let's meet at the church.' Others meant the large meeting room in the from of that building building when standing in a back hall they said, 'Let's go through to the church.' While some talked about the Anglican/Methodist/Catholic church, they are referring to the denomination, while someone else talked of the church in this country, they are referring to all the denominations and independent churches together. Neither is church referring to the main Sunday meetings! So, what is a church?


Church refers to people who believe in Jesus Christ. Many people, Christians or not, like to question why we as Christians had to go to church. More often than not, the outcome would be something like, 'You do't have to, but you'd want to; it'd be good for you to grow as a Christian. It seems like the church becomes a place that can help us grow as Christians, so it is important, but not vital. It is something that we want to be part of because it is good for us.


In 1 Peter 2:4-5, Peter wrote "As you come to him, the living Stone —rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him— you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house". The Stone used by Peter refers to none other than our LORD Jesus Christ. As we come to Jesus, we trust in him. In verse 6, with reference to the book of Isaiah, Peter tells us about the precious cornerstone that God has placed in Zion. To those who trust in Jesus, He is precious. But to others who do not trust in Jesus, He isn't precious to them. 


In the Old Testament, yes, the temple is the Holy House of God, where God was said to live in. But in this verse, we are told that we are being built into a spiritual house. We, by believing in Jesus Christ, are being built into a temple, where God will live in. Isn't that amazing? Because we believe in Jesus Christ, that is why God lives in us. And this very statement will entail many other things. 


One of which is in line with what I'm talking about in this post. If we say that we go to a church (referring to the building) because that is where God lives, aren't we trying to imply that if we do not go to the building, God is not in us. Then where are we putting Jesus? We pray in the name of Jesus, we want to do everything for Jesus because he died for our sins even before we were born, and do so many other things for Jesus, but forget about what He has actually done for those who truly trust in Him. 


When we accept Christ into our lives, what we are saying is that we trust in Jesus and because of that, we are being built by God into His temple, where He will reside in. We have become a part of God.


Because of the very fact of that, what then do we go to church for? Do we go for the message, or the songs, or the people whom we can talk to? God did not create us as Christians to think only of ourselves, but to relate to other Christians in a community. In Acts, it is clear that Christ has to be the in the center and is the core of what a church is. The people broke bread because they are doing what Christ has told them to do in remembrance of Him. 


It is vital that we know why we go to church. It is not about how we will benefit as individuals.   

Elora.

God is light.

Fight the good fight of faith.

But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which he will display at the proper time—he who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen. 1 Timothy 6:11-16.

The Faith of a Centurion When he had entered Capernaum, a centurion came forward to him, appealing to him, “Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, suffering terribly.” And he said to him, “I will come and heal him.” But the centurion replied, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I too am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes, and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, he marveled and said to those who followed him, “Truly, I tell you, with no one in Israel have I found such faith. I tell you, many will come from east and west and recline at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, while the sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” And to the centurion Jesus said, “Go; let it be done for you as you have believed.” And the servant was healed at that very moment. What a great calling, and all we have to do is just to believe in Jesus wholeheartedly. Jesus matters more than anything else.

Grace.

It has been a great but short 3 weeks at Day Rehab Centre, or DRC for short. Thank God for such a good working environment and the really hospitable and warm team of staff at the centre.

May God continue to watch over them, and that they may continue to serve the patients to the best of their abilities. Our God is a good God.

The Greatest Party.

What is the greatest and grandest party have you been to? Is it a "wedding of the century" of some celebrity, or is it that the food served is worth your month's pay? Could it be that there is even one banquet that is even grander and greater than the one you have attended? The answer is, yes.

"On this mountain the LORD of hosts will make for all peoples
a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine,
of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined.
And he will swallow up on this mountain
the covering that is cast over all peoples,
the veil that is spread over all nations.
He will swallow up death forever;
and the LORD God will wipe away tears from all faces,
and the reproach of his people will take away from all the earth,
for the LORD has spoken.
It will be said on that day,
"Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
This is the LORD; we have waited for him;
let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation."" -Isaiah 25:6-9

Then you might be thinking of how much you'd have to pay to get to the party, or is there a dress code or that you might have to be exceptionally popular and famous. The answer is, no.

What do we actually need so that we can attend this banquet? Faith. Trust. We need to believe and accept the invitation. Is is such a great promise and a good deal that God is offering us, He is calling out to us to be with Him. Turn away from your sins, and look to God. Recognize His glory and His wonder, stand in awe of His power and majesty. He loves you, as how a father would love his children. His invitation is more than just food and wine. It is an invitation to be His children, and He has sacrificed Jesus Christ his son to redeem us of our sins and the eternal death that comes along with it. We are assured of salvation if we seek Him. He is a God, a good God who promises and never fails. What then are we waiting for? He has already extended the invitation to His great banquet in heaven!

Truth.

There is no other truth besides the Bible. We are sure of that.

Romans 12

A Living Sacrifice

12 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Gifts of Grace

3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. 4 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, 5 so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Marks of the True Christian

9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

22.

Thank you God, for it is by your grace and mercy that I managed to come to the end of my NS liability. It has been an enriching journey and a great test of faith. I have to admit, that I have stumbled and struggled. It hasn't been the easiest of 22 months. I recognize what Jesus has done on the cross for me, I want to live out a Christ-centered life. Looking back, I realized that I have grown quite a bit. My walk with Jesus has never been so close before. In just 22 months, I have changed, for the better I hope.

Thank you Lord, you are just so wonderful and praise-worthy. Your love is beyond all measure.

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
2 O my God, in you I trust;
let me not be put to shame;
let not my enemies exult over me.
3 Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame;
they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.
4 Make me to know your ways, O Lord;
teach me your paths.
5 Lead me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long.
6 Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love,
for they have been from of old.
7 Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions;
according to your steadfast love remember me,
for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!

Psalm 25:1-5

Beyond Measure

What constitutes love? Is it how much you are willing to pay for a meal? Or is it how much you are willing to sacrifice? It is dangerous to put our own definition to what love is. The idea of human love is often one filled with the warm and fuzzy feelings, or the feeling of being pampered. Is that what love is? I beg to differ. When we love, we shouldn't be thinking of ourselves and how much the other party can serve us. The very fact the the feelings mean so much is already revealing to us and others that we are more concerned about how we feel. That in itself is selfish.

So, what's love? Some Christians, without thinking further and considering the context, would quote 1 Corinthians 13's famous verses. "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV) Yes, that is love. That's the love that God shows us. It is the perfect love that only God can give. But, let's look at God's love in its context and the dynamics of it. What is the basis of God's love for us? Is it warm and fuzzy? No! It is for he loves us so much, that he sent his own son Jesus Christ to die for our sins. It was a bloody and painful one. For someone to die on a cross, he has to be a big time criminal. So much that being hung by a noose would be too light a sentence. To die on the cross entails humiliation, torture and a slow death. It could be one of the worst forms of execution or punishment available, not to mention how gruesome and bloody it is. This is love. God's love.

I will cringe every time I remind myself of how God loves His children. By his grace, I have heard the Good News. By His grace, He has forgiven my sins because Christ has died on the cross even before I was born. Through Christ, I'm confident of my salvation and I'm assured of eternal life.

Who can measure up to God's love? We as mere humans fall short of it by more than what I can imagine. It is wider, deeper and longer and has more capacity that one can ever fathom. But we should still always try to follow God's example of love, one that is humble and willing to put the interest of God first.

How will you love then? Are you still desiring to have the warm and fuzzy feeling to be the first and immediate outcome?