The year is coming to a close in just a few days. Just a few thoughts on my mind.
God has been tremendously gracious, as He has always been. There were plenty of rather significant events that have happened in 2012–joining The Crossing Church, the commencement of a 4-year ministry in NUS, loss of a relationship I held so dearly that I got it all wrong. Through joining the church, I have learnt much more about Jesus than I used to, and have made some close Christian friends whom I know are committed to lead a life worthy of the Gospel we believe in. Uni ministry has been a challenge, but I am glad that I’m working alongside fellow workers of the gospel, and people who are keen and eager to spread the good news of the gospel to the non-believers. I got a better look at myself through the eyes of a love lost due to my blindness and immaturity. I still have a long way to go, and there are many areas that I believe I need to improve on. Not so much to get back the relationship, but because it reflects my inner-self.
These events have molded me into who I am right now, standing before God, with nothing but a soul that needs to be saved. I’m not worthy of the salvation God provides, I’m utterly sinful–in thought and deed. The bible tells us that Jesus came to save the sinners, not the sinless. Jesus Christ, the perfect and sinless, came to earth and took our sins to the cross in His death, so that we can be made right with God through His blood. Grace, great and wonderful grace of God. It is beyond all measure, beyond our wildest imagination.
Being human, I have turned against this gracious God countless times. I am as terrible a sinner as you who reads this. Not once has God turned away, but all the time, He calls me back. I am assured of a God who listens, a God who seeks me and pulls me out of darkness, a God who is willing to send His one precious Son to die on the cross. A wretched me doesn’t deserve it, not a single bit.
Unsurprisingly, I’m a victim of pride, or you can call it ego. Pride can be loosely defined as the desire to take control of our own lives and put God out of the picture. I would say that pride has caused me to stumble once and again, yet I do not learn from my mistakes because I was unwilling to become humble and admit my weaknesses.
Pride is scary. It comes in different forms and it’s more subtle than we think it is. But when it strikes, someone will get hurt really bad. I am a victim of the effects of my own pride. I was unwilling to admit that I did not understand because I did not want to look ignorant. I did not want to turn down tasks and made empty promises because I did not want to be perceived as incapable. The image that I have of myself is ideal, and it is not the real me. I cannot expect myself to know everything and be able to do everything, but pride tells me that I can.
This scary inner-self has cost me great losses. It is something that I see in myself and feel utterly disgusted about it. At least I see it now, and know that I should head in the direction of God, and no longer seek to depend on self.
Colossians 2:6-23
Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.
See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead. And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.
Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. These are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ. Let no one disqualify you, insisting on asceticism and worship of angels, going on in detail about visions, puffed up without reason by his sensuous mind, and not holding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and knit together through its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God.
If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— “Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” (referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.
Ephesians 6:10-20
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.
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