Life as a student in Singapore is not easy. I'm coming to the end of my second semester of my second year in uni. How have I been so far? Tired. I'm very tired.
There is this bugging sense that someone out there wants you to excel in everything that you do, and to do as much as you can. The 'model student' idea creeps in, driving you to think that your CV defines who you are. Yes, to your employer, the CV will be what he or she will see first, even before meeting you in person. What goes into that document pretty much sums up where you stand among your peers. Grades, CCA involvement, leadership positions, work experience, skills, the list goes on. I did not start my uni life with the goal of having the best CV around, yet the way my schedule is packed now clearly screams otherwise.
Leadership position? Check. CCA involvement? Check. Academic programmes? Check. Grades? Check. Community involvement? Check. Skills proficiency? Check. A good CV? Not bad, according to my friends. It is unsettling to me as I looked back. Am I secretly pursuing all these, as though they should really define who I am? I sincerely hope not.
Over the past few weeks, I have been examining myself to consider what exactly defines me deep within. With tears, I remember what Christ has done and that it is all sufficient. The world measures me by what I achieve, but God accepts me because of what Christ has done. Nothing that I do makes me better in God's eyes, for that inheritance is promised only through Christ. I am humbled, utterly, by Your loving grace. Lord, help me to set my eyes upon you, and you alone. The journey home is hard and will be full of tribulations, temptations and persecution. It is in you that I am able to hope. It is through Jesus that I am saved.
