disappointment.

From shoe and racket

it all came way too fast. and its gonna end real soon. there are some things im not keeping to myself anymore after today's loss to vjc.

1. i crack under pressure. the match against mi, we were 1-0 up. i need to seal the second point from my first doubles to boost the team morale, especially for the second singles. it was the same today. the opponents were not that tough at all, but i just cant bear the weight of the whole team. cant get focused enough in the game, and there goes another loss.

2. line judges. miss line judge, could you not look at your phone while sitting at that chair? you know how much it means if you made a wrong call? i had enough of the line judges, they were not paying attention at all. they wont know how much it means for a side to lose a point because of the bad call. irritating.

3. mr wang and mr ong. yes, you two did try to talk to us at intervals. but we do not need you as what you give are what we already are aware off. and the advice you give are somewhat demoralising. we need the coach, not you. so next time, just sit at the bench and wait.

4. jeremy. im sorry partner, but guess coach was right. i have too much pace, you had too little. maybe it was a mistake to pair us up in the first place, you couldnt keep up with my game. monday will be the last one, hope it will stay this way as i still enjoy this partnership though we may not win.

im tired. glad that there is this long weekend. lets go out sometime soon.heres a nice song.
Hanging By A Moment by Lifehouse

lost it today. hopes of 2nd round are almost gone.
i thought this may help me find out what really went so wrong today.

match analysis.(everything out of 10)
Confidence: 8
Service : 9
Accuracy : 8

Luck : 2
Opponents: 4
Fatigue : 3
Focus : 6

MI wasnt good at all. every game was very tight, but just lack that extra kick to win it. i felt like crying, the teachers felt disappointed, the team felt lost. though tjc also lost it, but thanks to my ex-teammates who tried to cheer me up. and that includes you too. gonna have some light training tomorrow, just hope for a better match against vjc.

lost it today to RI(JC)/RJC. 5-0. what a way to start the season.

coach was up to something ridiculous today, putting the singles together for doubles, putting me in 2nd singles, nigel 3rd, thuhan 1st and jeremy got to play his doubles without me. he kept saying that our advantage is that the team is balanced. we will see.

although it was quite a bad loss, i enjoyed the game today. i've got nothing to lose when im in the court, i know i could have done better and probably have won the rj opponent. i found his weakness early in the game, but just couldnt get everything in play and get going. 21-10. 21-8. myself to blame.

MI tomorrow. watching them play today against vjc somehow makes the team feel more confident. we should be able to overcome them easily, vjc wasnt as strong as expected. tpjc? needless to say. see you in the top 8.

its a sunday. the week coming to an end again, time passes by really fast. half a term's gone already, half more to go. blocktest 2 is coming right up, along with the 2 camps and national chemistry week, hope i can get through the audition. season starts tomorrow, and spa would be on the coming week and another on week 8. ocip publicity stuff too. im getting tired of these things, but do i have a choice? its gonna be over real soon, 7 more months to go. maybe this is not the right time to get certain things done although i would love to do it right now. i'll wait.

i need some time on my own. and happy birthday john.

had the last training in school today for some final fine tuning before the tough week ahead.

3 matchdays in the same week, monday-tuesday-thursday. its gonna be a challenge, but we will try our best to fight for a spot in the second round. all matches except for the rjc match are very crucial and would decide whether who will make it through, so if you have time please show some support. tampines sports hall, 2pm. in order, rjc-mi-vjc-tpjc.

i will have to get all the rest i can for this weekend, avoid all the weird stuff and drink plenty of water.

just one verse to keep me through.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths
straight.

tomorrow will be the second last training till the first match on monday. im getting all sorts of mixed feelings now, it wasnt like this and shouldnt be this way. we ain't got much time left. even if we are not going to make it past the first round, dont give up even without fighting, that makes you a loser. rest well, the week ahead will be a tough one.

sometimes in life, all you need is a hand to hold. but it is one that gives you assurance, confidence and you can feel the love from it.

love song for no one by john mayer. just love the way he talks about love before the song. you gotta love this song.

my idea of a band.

solo: guitar and vocals all by yourself. cant sing? forget about this
2 person: guitar&vocals+drums/guitar+vocals/guitar+bass&vocals. this sounds quite stupid.
3 piece band: guitar&vocals+bass+drums. sounds like mayer's trio.
4 piece band: lead guitar+rhythm guitar&vocals+drums+bass. feels good, but just not there.
5 piece band: lead guitar+rhythm guitar+singer+bass guitar+drums.
6 piece band: lead guitar+rhythm guitar+singer+bass guitar+keyboard.

the ultimate combination:
leadguitar+rhythmguitar+bassguitar+
leadsinger+3backgroundvocals+
drums+percussion+harmonica+keyboard+piano.

got my new pair of shoes today. was considering mizuno at first, but i forgot i hate them for the weight. still got back to yonex, its about the same as the old one, just that this is in gold and silver and white and its limited edition. $140, i didnt pay a single cent though.

the new week starts tomorrow, season starts in a week's time. i dont really feel good about it, but things should get better. just pray that nothing will go wrong on my part.

well, today came the 3rd person who have confused me. and it is the venn house captain ricky. i was at tiong bahru plaza after training for the sports and fitness cip when he gave me a call. this is the scenario, imagine you are not meeting that person at all. then he asked "where are you?" when i heard that, my reaction was "?". so he asked the same question again. my reaction was"?" again. so he continued "i saw your teammates, where are you?" so ricky if you read this, you understand how i felt? hahaha (:

and the training today marks the last few hours of my shoe's life on a badminton court. it had clocked hundreds, probably a thousand court hours. now, just a week before the season starts, its gonna retire and its life as a pair of court shoes have come to an end. it had gone through quite a lot of really tough trainings with me since the remaining years back in anglican high. if it could understand, i would really want to say thanks. the scored an almost perfect score against yjc today, only if glenn did not drop a set in his doubles. relatively easy to play, the usual trashing. most of the scores were kept around 21-5. i just hope that we would put up a good fight against vjc, that will be the only hope of getting into the next round. zy, watch for my smash too. my racket is also going into retirement, its the ever trustworthy nanospeed 9000. got it a few years back, i think 3 or 4, as a gift. if you look at one of the pics below, you'll know the reason why im gonna stop using it. the black lines are not scratches, they are cracks in the frame itself. hard smashes do come at a price. i'll stick to the armortec now, and keep this one safe in case it breaks, which will also mean heartbreak.

From shoe and racket

From shoe and racket

From shoe and racket

From shoe and racket

From shoe and racket

From shoe and racket

From shoe and racket

From shoe and racket

From shoe and racket

then the cip in the afternoon wasnt that bad, did a bit of painting here and there and the house certainly got cleaner. but one thing, or person i really find weird was anson pang. we did finish early because we were efficient and the full attendance that was rather surprising to see. he claimed that we finished early because he pushed us all the way (he wasnt doing much, a lot of talking though). the place was rather messy as from the second pic compared to the one at lavender with the ocip team. but the corridor was much much brighter.

From shoe and racket

From shoe and racket

From shoe and racket

postponed my sushi tei dinner to a later date, tampines 1 is still packed with random people who finds it interesting. i stay in tampines, so i can afford to wait and go whenever i want. and anyway, melodie, im still in discipline.

im just starting to think that the people around me are trying to confuse me with everything they could.

first was colleen on wednesday. 2 weeks ago, just before life concert, she told me i'll be the discipline head along with liting for the sports and fitness annual june torture camp. then 2 days ago, she said she had someone else in mind, so put me as group leader with zz. fine. then today some exco told me im the discipline head for the camp. ? idk whats wrong with colleen.

then came naveen. this one is a bit more funny. i think he's confused too. quite a while back, i was told im involved in the ocip selection camp. he wasnt sure what comm i was in when i asked him, so i was a bit lost till he told me im in discipline. later came this relay system. me name appeared twice, i told him about it, he didnt get back to me. but till now, i dont think i have sent any msg to anyone in the relay yet. so yesterday, i received a sms from brenda from ocip, telling me that im in stationgames/programmes comm. she thinks naveen is weird when i told her im in discipline. i suppose naveen told her im in her comm, then naveen called me. obviously i've been doing some things in discipline such as planning the night trek games that will take forever and, he told me to stay in discipline. just a while ago during the meeting for the games, he talked something about this list of names and contacts. so i asked him "why did my name appear twice?" one was 'wei jie' , the other was 'zheng wei jie'. so he thought for a second, and finally realised thats the same person. btw my full name is Zheng Weijie. theres only one space.

now im really quite confused by these 2 people around me. i think more will come along.

FRIDAY
total waste of time in school today. went up to the roof top of the cultural centre to look at 2 pieces of boring solar panels. and mr yuen was talking about how good that thing is, the pros and cons of it. i dont really care though i think its quite cool, but now i dont remember anything from that 1 hour lesson except that it was quite a hot day. had the best gp lesson since last year, talked quite a lot with the old woman, she's quite interesting. maybe its still not too late to start listening in gp lessons. enough said, today was a boring boring school day.

tomorrow morning friendly against YJC in school at 10am. cip at a one-roomer in tiong bahru in the afternoon. give myself a good treat for the weekend at sushi-tei for dinner at tampines 1. hope it wont be too crowded, its just attracting too many people to tampines. swensen's on sunday night, kishen is finally rich enough to give us the treat. and im gonna string up the gibson with elixers that would last forever and save me a lot of moolah and start to slow dance in a burnin' room.

sometimes we need this kinda break from our hectic life.

today wasnt exactly a good day for me. i wasnt caught in this massive jam in the morning but i saw what actually caused it. its this traffic accident that happened at the already-busy-in-the-morning junction at the intersection of upper serangoon rd, bendemeer rd and mcpherson rd. hope no one was hurt in that accident. it caused quite a bit of disruption to vehicles coming in all directions, which also explains why the canteen was quite empty at 7.15am.

then just before pe, samuel and i and a few others were playing basketball at the outdoor court. then samuel, who happily swung his arms all over, somehow whacked me who was tired, half-awake and not sure why i was standing behind him for on the nose. i can still feel the pain now, hope it gets better tomorrow.

then comes training. it was rather slack, didnt do much except for the doubles feeding part. but i learnt the importance of stretching and warm up before such high impact games. coach couldnt retrieve my smashes and came up with several lame excuses and complained that the light was too bright. i left the hall with a throbing pain in my right knee, and this terrible and awful sore in the left calve. these pain would take a few days to recover, but i'll still be going all out for the friendly match this saturday in school.

got home tired with a headache. im not going to fall into the coffee trap, i'll just rely on more rest to get back all my energy. its like drugs, once you are in it, you cant get out of it. thursday and friday left to go. im looking forward to the weekends. that was since monday.

anyway, for those who wish to support the badminton team, here are the matchdays and fixtures. but please dont come for the first match.

27th Apr, Monday. RJC.
28th Apr, Tuesday. MI
30th Apr, Thursday. VJC
4th May, Monday .TPJC

gotta study then sleep. no way im gonna skip school just to rest at home.

Facebook Fun.

facebook is a place that i never thought would be so interesting. these were what i found out only yesterday and today.

1. Im a happy go lucky friend in my circle of friends.
2. Deep deep deep down inside, im an American.
3. My crush's name starts with "E".
4. I should be playing a clarinet.
5. I will die by old age.
6. Im a normal singapore citizen.
7. i belong to scgs.
8. i dont want anyone to know about my family life.
9. im not gay.
10. im a lagtard in poker.
11. ive got an interesting name.
12. red is my aura colour.

some are ridiculous, while some might be true in someway. but its facebook, who cares!

4-2. the polo girls have lost it. i have lost in finals before, i know how it feels.

school's been rather dry today, physics was fun as usual. physics spa will come soon in 2 weeks i think, and the same process of memorise-then-ditch-it comes all over again. this is quite useless if you just look at it as per assesment, but when it all boils down to the 20%, its gonna bite you hard if you screw up here and there. and that could mean no more A and it is equal to losing 20rp. now it seems like life's more or less back to usual after the really holy holy-week.

time to spend one hour with my gibson, john called his guitar gen. idk what i should call mine, its very precious to me. stop guessing, i wont tell you unless maybe a meal at least? i shall commit the rest of the time to revision. bt2 is coming real soon. 5weeks more. study hard.

THURSDAY

it was the first sports day in sajc that im gonna run. couldn't run last year due to the extremely painful bilateral pfps. we were still looking for runners at 7.40am, so we managed to get a few girls to run for 08S02 eventually. in fact, for the heats, only 6 out of 10 runners are from my class. came in 3rd for heats and qualified for the B finals, which was what we were aiming for. a change of 2runners for the finals, they were obviously faster and finished 1st. not bad for my first time (: there will be more ocip publicity stunts coming up soon, hope we get something that wont eat up too much of my time.

fine, i got a B for projectwork, i dont care anyway. it wont mean much to me unless its a U. the rest of the subjects are those that will make the difference and decide where i'll go. congrats if you got an A.

rushed off to east coast area to have lunch. then went off in hunt for the fossil, but we couldnt find it anywhere around that area. so just walked around to kill time and talked lots of crap. met up with melodie and kx for the water polo match at acsi, to support olivia and m.dong . i dont exactly know what was the exact score and how the game is played, i think the polo girls played well and this puts them in the finals. good job, but i dont think i'll be able to catch the finals.

took the train from the wrong platform from dover. and to think that i have to travel all the way across singapore to tampines, thats quite a stupid move on my part. idk what was i thinking about when i boarded the train.

FRIDAY

its good friday. no school, good. set 3 alarms to wake up in time to get to asc in the morning. it was a short one, and i quickly rushed home to study after that. a very productive day, nothing much to talk about. stuck at home for the rest of the day. not forgetting the same old weekly lunch at the changi village chicken rice stall.

SATURDAY

training in the morning without coach. shouldnt have went, wasted my time. i guess he prolly gave up on the team after the draws are out on thursday. RJC, VJC, MI and TPJC. we might just make it through, but im not very confident about that. showered in school after training before going to toa payoh for lunch and meeting john and kx at bugis. john wanted to get a guitar/amp, so i showed him around swee lee. but the roland cube wasnt in stock, so he'll have to wait. and he's crazy about gutiar now, which is the totally wrong time.

got to city harvest for their easter service and play at expo. its really huge compared to asc, and asc dont use credit cards for offerings. that was something that sort of amazed me. but the service wasnt that bad, in fact it was good and i enjoyed it. the people from melodie's cell were quite nice and talk a lot too! reminded me of vanessa and rachel that group of people. dinner at same old simpang bedok at the foot of the hill. same stuff, but i felt it was more filling than usual.

i'll only be attending the paw night for this year's camp on june 14. for those i have asked to come along, please mark it somewhere and dont forget. i will remind you again. its the annual student camp held in anglican high by all saints' church. it basically a church camp. it is not a service im bringing you to, and it wont be the scale of city harvest. gonna ask for a camp tee from vanessa and ask her why its named like this. after that they will have some mass dance, i dont think they are changing anything, the followed by bbq at the church carpark. just wear something casual but no slippers, thats all!

ok well, tampines jc badminton did improve. but not much, the same people were still there, so was their teacher in charge whom stared at me for quite a long time. they are still quite bad though, one of the opponents i wouldnt mind having in the same group. did not touch singles at all today, only doubles and trashed them quite easily. what i told my partner was that dont waste my time, just end the game fast. i havent played like this for a long long time, super relaxed that coach was signalling to me to play properly. it was still a huge win, who really cares?

many things will be happening tomorrow.
1. sports day. still unsure if i'll be running. but i want to run.
2. ocip publicity meeting. idk what is that for.
3. projectwork results release. just hope it wont be too bad.
4. retail therapy. no need to explain, i need some time on my own. if you have the cash, i welcome you to join me.
5. polo match? maybe.

time to change

from now on, this will be how my room will be like.

From room

i have to spend lesser time on this

From room

and this

From room

keep this area the same like this

From room

that will mean lesser guitar time. times like these will end soon.

From Gibson

From Gibson

From Gibson

From Gibson

and spend more time here.

From room

heres some updates about the ocip project last year. got the link to the photos, might as well just put some up here.

From Recently Updated

From Recently Updated

From Recently Updated

From Recently Updated

From Recently Updated

绝对不变

天气一直在改变 几个小时过后 晴天可能变雨天
乌云夜见异思迁 雨后的天空 是深色还是浅
很多时候的坚决 经过时间的考验 会变得若隐若现
曾经许下的誓言 有时无法兑现 只能说一声抱歉

世界有什么事是绝对
世上有什么是永远不会变
还是一切对你来说 都变得无所谓
自己存在的原因 却一点都不了解

难道你不想认识这位创世主
难道你不想得到这份自由
当你认识耶稣基督 是最宝贵的礼物
再也不会迷路 错过这一生最完美的幸福

就像太阳只会从东边升起
他也是永远 不改变的真理


来临的星期日就是复活节了，有时我们因该在这个时候停下来想一想，我们一直在最求得到底是什么？或者这一切的一切对你来说都已经不重要了？这世上有许多事是不在我们的控制范围以内的，若想不断的追求，可能一辈子都不能得到所要的。要满足自己，不一定要是物质上的享受。寻求真神或许能让我们觉得生命不是那么的烦闷，那么的痛苦。这世上有很多让我们常忽略了的好事，很多人已忘记了在困难时信靠神，让他带领我们渡过难关。这复活节，让我们从新找回神无条件的爱，从新让他回到你的心中。i know its all in chinese, i feel more comfortable this way.

saturday night wasn't that good at all. im tired, flashing lights of all sorts of colours, people screaming and it was quite dim. drums were too loud, played a bit wrongly somewhere but no one really cares. still cant believe that was the opener for that night. i dont really care though, its over anyway. left very early, in fact after the second song to go home and rest, if not i would have really gone crazy yesterday.

got up on sunday with no headache, probably because i didnt even touch a drop of alcohol. sore from training on saturday, the rest of the day was typical sunday routine. a good productive day, i hope block test 2 will be better.

so there goes another week and today marks the start of term 2 week 3. i think its good that i keep reminding myself here, at the same time those who read this space. we dont have much time left, 7 weeks to bt2. so please study hard!

life concert yesterday wasnt bad, but the choice of songs last year was much better. fulfilled? up to you to decide. over dinner, kaixiang tried to pull this stunt/trick with a straw. the straw is supposed to break or snap, but apparently it did not happen. so thats a fail. a big fail. got home at around i dont know what time, dont even bother to know it either. i know its quite late though.

slept only at 2 to nail the whole of dani california. obviously, without enough sleep, training today was more or less hell. couldnt even concentrate in court, singles was self-destruct again. i think if i do that again on wedesday's friendly with tpjc i can jolly well forget about playing singles. judgement was poor, the shots were powerless and im too tired to move. not in mood for lunch and hope i dont mess up anything tonight. i gotta wash up and nap till late noon.

'She's perfect, so flawless'
Comfortable-John Mayer

i nearly couldn't make it home alive after the friendly game against nyjc. they were quite lousy, if we get them in our a'div draw it should be a win.

my singles game was quite badly screwed up, draw with the guy that i could have easily trashed in straight sets. lost the first set i think 14-21 or something like that. my shots were more powerful, but everything went out of play. everyone watching felt like killing me when they saw what i was doing. if i didnt scrape a win in the second set from a deuce, i think i might just get beaten up. very disappointing performance today, couldn't focus on the game. but i do feel good playing badminton at this level again after more than a year's break. not as sharp as i used to be, the feeling is not there at all. not much time left, hope i can find back the old me.

april fool's day, nothing much went on except during our 1hour break. the canteen was packed with people, i didnt know that the school have so many students having break at that slot. so the class just sat down at a table and talked. and of everyone and all things, we were talking about mimosa. such stuff always come together, melodie showed me this blog yesterday and asked me to read the second latest post. i was a bit tired so i read the second last, till i saw it was second latest a while later. it was about some touch rug camp, the wordy part was perfectly fine, till the photos came. i shall not comment much, you should know it. maybe that was april fool's prank. no nightmare, surprisingly. back to today, we were laughing quite loudly till sheldon spotted the weed somewhere not very far away. but it was my blindspot and i was still unsure what was he talking about, so i stood up and saw mimosa sucking on some bottle or what, i dont really care though. that was quite a scary sight if you never realise. i think i should not be so mean and i'll stop here. carry on the next time after the next scare. and we all think that the girl at the chicken rice stall is only pretty when you look from a bit of distance away, never too close. but now i know why kaixing patronise that stall everyday.

hit the gym on friday before life concert for training and duty. the week's gonna be over soon, and it means that bt2 is approaching. study hard!