its been a week since ah gong left us. i know that i cant handle my emotions when such things happen, especially when it comes so fast. im not prepared for it at all. since last sunday, its been harder for me to go to sleep at night without thinking of my grandpa. 7months from diagnosis, now he's gone. who can i talk to about my pain? who is willing to really listen to me? i've never lost someone so dear to me before. although its Chinese New Year already, no one in my family would be in the mood to celebrate it.

thanks all who have been offering your prayers, who were there when i needed you. i really appreciate it. i need to pick myself up from all these, learn to take care of my grandma and my family and the people around me. being able to wake up in the morning and live till the end of each day is a victory. thank God for that. love the people around you, for they love you too.

meanwhile, happy chinese new year. have a blessed and prosperous year ahead.

Better Man-Robbie Williams
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man