The first week of lessons concluded week 1 of my third year in NUS. It was a tiring week with lessons and night trainings, the mind flooded with thoughts, while trying to get back into the swing of things. Unwinding a little at the end of the week over a couple of pints of malty ales, I reflected over the past week and thought about the many more to come. It was a helpful time to take time to breathe and clear the mind in the rush to nowhere, before things build up too much and it becomes too late.
There were times in the week that I have not really lived as I should, especially in the way I think and talk, even though I have tried to. The guilt of hypocrisy seeps in, making me feel terrible about that I have not done. The feeling sucks. It was brimming and screaming at me that I am indeed imperfect. It reminded me of who I am in flesh, and that even though sin has been conquered, it will be thoroughly destroyed when Christ comes again. If we could actually live out perfectly godly lives, Christ died for nothing. The key to godly Christ-centred living is not about trying hard to live it out, but acknowledging and living out the knowledge of what Christ has done. The motivation is Christ, not self-glorification. In a way, it is good to see that I am not perfect, but the response is not to go away beating my chest. It is to turn to Christ, rejoicing in what He has done even though I am undeserving, for we are undeserving.
To a good week 2, and the assignment due.
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