QUIDDITCH.

It's my third year, and I just had a good game of quidditch–an annual game where students gather to unwind and have fun as a USP community. It's tiring running around with a broom between my legs, but I don't think I have had so much fun in a long time. It was an excellent time playing alongside the juniors, seniors and batch mates, and a break from all the stress that has been steadily building up at quite a quick pace.

USP is one thing that I have been incredibly thankful for, and God has been showing me the community's need for the gospel, just as all of us do actually. In all honesty, trudging through each semester in USP is not easy–workload is heavy, content is alien, sleep is a luxury. Yet every now and then I am put into situations where the difficulties seem easier to manage. A good and growing Christian community that I can talk to, some of my closest friends in uni are in USP, and a bunch of very encouraging freshmen who are ever so enthusiastic about uni life. Lots of people out there do not understand the problems and troubles USP students face, and we are often labelled as being 'elitist' and 'arrogant'. It takes one to know one, and to know, one has to be in it.

One thing that I remind myself each day before I set out for class from Cinnamon College. "Be yourself, behave as God has instructed because you are now in Christ." Uni life may be hard, but God is still in control and it is, in every bit, worth thanking for.  

IFG.

Today marks the end of my third Inter-Faculty Games, and perhaps the one that I enjoyed the most. Badminton is a game that I have been playing for more than half my life, and half of it being competitive and the only reason I played and trained was to win. It was not until university, or halfway through army, that I began to really enjoy the game, and not in so much of a competitive manner.

I have reached a point where I play the game not to win, but to enjoy every moment on court. Winning is a bonus, it is not everything that the game has to offer. Yes, I do get frustrated at times when I do not get certain shots right, but I have leant, too, to get over it quickly. The company that I play the game with was encouraging, and they will be among the most memorable bunch of friends I have made in NUS.

It was one good IFG.

I'm sorry, but could you please speak in a proper language?

Speaking in tongues has been one of the most controversial topics of discussion among Christians. Some churches claim that if a Christian doesn't speak in tongues, he or she isn't spiritual enough. They make it seem as though speaking in tongues is a must, and is part of being spiritual, and is also part of being a Christian. To be honest, I have not encountered anyone speaking or praying in tongues till very recently. 

What is speaking in tongues? In short, it is to speak in another language, possibly one that is not known to you. But in reality, what came across as speaking in 'tongues' was just a random murmur that I am not sure if anyone really spoke that as a language at all. It feels odd, sounds odd, and not in such a good way. Well, but who am I to judge if it's really the Holy Spirit at work? That's not the whole point of this post actually, because we are to small to fathom what God can do. 

The churches who place such a great emphasis on speaking in tongues seem to be missing the point, and it could be intimidating and misleading to a newcomer to church. In the New Testament, we find extensive talks about tongues, especially concentrated in 1 Corinthians 14. But with that in mind, we should also read chapters 12 and 13 to better understand the context and instructions that Paul was telling the early church in Corinth. Paul clearly indicated in the letter the significance of the gift of tongues and how should one view it. Not every Christian will receive the gift, but each of us is gifted by God in ways that are unique. For a church, the more urgent matters that should deserve way more energy and strength being put into are edifying fellow Christians and telling non-Christians about the gospel. Both aspects are grounded on the belief in Christ Jesus and his saving works on the cross. It is of less value if one could speak in tongues that no one could interpret, than to encourage a fellow Christian with an understandable language, and also of less value than telling a non-Christian about the gospel in an understandable language. 

As Christians, we have to be discerning and weigh out what is the more important thing to do, than to pray in tongues. Prayer is not a mindless activity, as much as you have received the "gift of tongues" by the Holy Spirit. 

losing.

If there's one thing that I could take away from today, it is that winning isn't everything. Losing the important matches and not making it to the semi-finals of another competition helped put things back into perspective and what I should truly seek after, instead of just wanting to get the top prize.

If I am convicted of the truth that Christ is sufficient, it will indeed be satisfying and easier to cope with loss. But I am not perfect and still working towards godliness and righteousness. Look forward, and look upward.

it is 1am and there are so many things to be thankful for. I am really glad that the discipleship circle thing in USP ministry is working out, and encouraged by the group of freshies who are so committed to meeting together to push each other on in Christ.

8am class in just a few hours!

another weekend gone.

Saturdays and Sundays are particularly precious days for me, not that the other days are not important or not considered important. They have a special place because those are the days that I can actually spend time with my parents and sis, and doing things I like but could not do while on campus. It is also the weekends that I can spend time away by myself to look back at the week past and the week to come.

There's a whole lot of things to think about in the week past, and it seems like things are getting harder with work starting to pile up and pieces to mend and put back together. My first ever case competition was over, and it did not end well. Was not quite expecting such rigour and sleeplessness from a business management case. Nonetheless, it was a good experience and gave me a good teaser of work life if I were to end up as a management consultant. Garden festival was pretty, but met with some unhappy encounters that soured the whole experience. Could be poor expectation management on my side. It was a tiring week, but more of such weeks to come. 

Expectation management on one other aspect of life has to be prayerfully and carefully sorted out too. Sometimes, when too many things go on at the same time, it gets overwhelming and I handle it in a very un-Christ-like manner. To me, I may perceive the whole situation in a particular manner. But to others whom I have talked to, they think otherwise, and usually much worse than it actually is. I really wished I could give them a peek of what I am thinking down in my heart, but only God knows what exactly is going on and he can see everything. Just hope and pray hard that I can try my best to explain, and be patient while waiting. 

It is truly not my own works or doings that things fall together, or apart, but God's. He is in sovereign control even if things do not work out the way we wanted. In all situations and for all things, give thanks, because I deserved nothing. Christ is all.

Time fleeting away,
Patience is gold, so is love.
Only God's unchanged. 

Swing.

Get into the mode, they say, but there are plenty of distractions (are they really disturbances?) that stand in the way. 

It's getting late into the night in the later part of my second week in school, and I am still up, trying to get work done, read and read some more. I just refuse to hit the sack and take a much needed break. I have been consistently getting less than six hours of sleep each night, and it is not really helping me to stay focused in the day. There are so many things that I want to do, yet time is scarce. I can't help but wish that I had more time to do what I want to do. I begin to question the way I prioritise and plan my time each day, as I work and toil through the heaps of words and mental stimuli.

Being surrounded by friends who aim to work for investment banks upon graduation makes me reconsider my plans on joining the civil service. The renumeration package for IBs is indeed attractive, with salary packages in the range of around at least eight grand for a fresh graduate. That is some serious payout, and it leaves little to imagination on the attractiveness of it. Well, with that comes loads of stress that could be avoided. But would that be a godly choice over other options that I have? And will it be the most Christ-centred decision I could make about my career path? It is easy for anyone to say that he or she will live for Christ, and end up with the higher-paying job with excuses to convince oneself that it was indeed a godly decision and it was God's plan. But was that said out of convenience? What really drives me and pushes me along in the way I think and plan?

It is good to consistently question our intentions in everything that we do. By asking ourselves the honest questions first and answering them, we can then be honest before others and before God. By thinking more deeply, it does help us in desiring to lead more Christ-centered lives and consider what it means to be godly, which is the very thing we are told to desire and strive towards. I am getting into the swing of the school term and surviving well, just hope that I will continue to question and challenge myself, for the sake of Christ. It makes the little steps towards spiritual maturity. 

Taking a step back.

The first week of lessons concluded week 1 of my third year in NUS. It was a tiring week with lessons and night trainings, the mind flooded with thoughts, while trying to get back into the swing of things. Unwinding a little at the end of the week over a couple of pints of malty ales, I reflected over the past week and thought about the many more to come. It was a helpful time to take time to breathe and clear the mind in the rush to nowhere, before things build up too much and it becomes too late.

There were times in the week that I have not really lived as I should, especially in the way I think and talk, even though I have tried to. The guilt of hypocrisy seeps in, making me feel terrible about that I have not done. The feeling sucks. It was brimming and screaming at me that I am indeed imperfect. It reminded me of who I am in flesh, and that even though sin has been conquered, it will be thoroughly destroyed when Christ comes again. If we could actually live out perfectly godly lives, Christ died for nothing. The key to godly Christ-centred living is not about trying hard to live it out, but acknowledging and living out the knowledge of what Christ has done. The motivation is Christ, not self-glorification. In a way, it is good to see that I am not perfect, but the response is not to go away beating my chest. It is to turn to Christ, rejoicing in what He has done even though I am undeserving, for we are undeserving.

To a good week 2, and the assignment due.