sometimes, simple words are even harder to say. it takes loads of courage.

the principal left me a small note of encouragement on my progress report for msa.
'Very good effort. keep it up! -Mrs Lee'
im gonna study harder this time for blocktest. not much time left, but i'll do my very best.

badminton training yesterday was total crap. i dont know for how long can i withstand all these rubbish that the coach is coming up with. some people dont even deserve a spot in the team. attitude aside, they dont even make the mark to hit the ball well enough. gain exposure? or gain a lose-face experience? i think the coach should start to wake up his idea and not let someone be in the team just because he is the (vice)captain of the team, at least choose someone more competent then get the captain and vice-cap from the 12. self-training on saturday. hope it will be better without the coach.

the surf n'sweat beach soccer thing was called off because we submitted the forms too late. so it means that i wont be going to sentosa this sunday, and im gonna be stuck at home studying for the blocktest that is coming up in like 2 weeks. more or less completed functions, inequalities, sequences, org. chem. not doing so much for physics yet since it will be after the 1 week break.

i've got no time to play my guitar, no time to cycle, no time for any other stuff now. so lets mug hard together and get into the course that we want. i think i will end up in chemistry or mechanical enginnering.

Describe human behaviour. Disgrace.

New Products in 2009!

have been browsing through the web to look at the new products from major brands, some sounds great while some look fail.

fail 1: Gibson Holy Explorer.

even if you dont play guitar, you would think that this is ugly. with the 7 holes on the guitar body, it should be much much much lighter, maybe something like a fender. my gibson itself is around 4.5kg. that should be around 3plus without all the wood that should be there. im alright with chambering in les pauls, but they can't possibly chamber this, so they just leave some holes there. i bet this is gonna collect lots of dust and cost a lot of moolah. total failure in looks. it might be better than the reverse V they released in 2007 or even on par (limited edt of 400 worldwide and is still available now)

Fail 2: Michael Bloomfield 1959 Les Paul Standard

i dont know why gibson can't get over creating the original 59'les paul. the custom shop just keeps churning out one after another line of similar stuff to the VOS they already have and is quite successful. it is supposed to 'replicate' the guitar that bloomfield uses by using modern technology. price? US$14,115 msrp. they are either nuts or nuts, you will be paying a few months salary to buy a purposely-made-old guitar.

Fail 3: Ibanez Destroyer

more or less an explorer shaped guitar like the gibson's without the price tag. doesn't look really practical. there's just something in it that i dont like. weird feeling, but its a fail. i tried out this before.

now look at the good stuff they released.

Good 1:Roland Cube 80X.

i know how committed Roland is in delivering quality products. and i also know how good the Cube series of amps is. they are loud for their size, i have a roland cube 30x that have never been turned up to full volume yet.the window grilles are already rattling. this new monster comes with external speaker jack, which means that you can connect it to a 4x12 cabinet. but funny thing is that roland dont even make speaker cabinets!but this should be good, and affordable too. an orange tube amp is coming my way though, i wont need this.

Good 2: Fender Mexico Roadworn Series
this series is made to look like a well used guitar, and is relatively cheaper and you can save yourself many years of playing to age it this way. looks cool, should play well too.

the song that changed my life a few years back. So You Would Come by Hillsongs.

when you feel comfortable with something, it is natural to resist changing to anything worse. the new timetable's out, i guess the j2s are all complaining about it. i'll be one of them. after 1 year of ending lessons by 2.30pm everyday, and half a term of similar stuff, im gonna have my lessons till 4plus for the rest of this year. luckily the 3hour break is removed from the even week timetable, if not i'll be going home at 5.30 every alternate thurs. forget about the breaks on other days, they are barely existing on the orange and yellow papers.

sometimes some things can really piss me off. when im tired, i just need some peace and i'll be fine and you can spare yourself from getting freaked out. i get into a real bad mood when im tired, although some little stuff could turn all of that around.

i gotta catch some sleep, so i can study till late. cycling tomorrow, i dont want to die during the bike rally. its 128km, so thats about 6 times from home to school and back. good luck and have a nice day (:

i'll be starting badminton training next wednesday. im gonna miss the people from sports and fitness and the activities. but i'll be back by may, before the june camp. gotta study.

yesterday was real madness. the chem bt1 topics are out! so what are they gonna test? it will be everything. sorry if i have to go back to my mugger state like before msa, i got no choice. will only celebrate for whatever reason after 13th march. it will be over real soon. back about the madness, you might think why. it was 3 and a half hours of physical activity for me yesterday. first was pe, the usual ben soh stuff. then gym duty from 4-5. i ran, and ran, and lifted weights. the the rest was pure torture. 2.4km run, 50m lunges, sprints, and some other stuff. get home and found the new level of tiredness that comes from physical activity: Dog Tired. but forced myself to revise chem equilibira and nitrogen cpds. gave up at 10pm.

from all the physical and mental torture, im tired today. sorry melodie for not contributing at all during this morning's 10/11/12min meeting because i was late. im really partially brain dead, or maybe its too early to wake up and think. but i feel rather guilty for not saying anything.

so i dragged myself around school due to aching butt/inner thigh/hamstring or whatever you call that. surprisingly, i was wide awake during the 20min gp lesson. annie is away on holiday in australia, idk why. urgent leave she says, she told us 2 weeks ago that it was urgent. casey is gonna take my class for 2 weeks. i found him rather nice and he's GOOD, as long as you dont mess with him. only if my gp teacher changes to him. wouldn't the world be a much nicer place? my result won't get pulled down because of an E for gp, and i would have hit 70rp. just hope i get a better grade for gp and everything else.

why can i blog now?i got home at 2.30, even after claiming the extended warranty for the computer. mr leong will have this meeting, so lesson ended at 1.30. how i wish the new timetable will be something like this everyday.

nothing beats spending time with some really close friends.

spent the whole day on valentine's with the ocip team, for local cip and our own outing of course.only kx, oli, dong, mimo, yijun, josie, fiona, dawn, melodie, gen and i turned up for the cip part. there were so few of us that turned up. the cip was a mixture of disappointment and joy. its rather depressing when you knock on the door, and no one responded. i was with dawn and fiona, and our success rate is actually 0/5, one of them opened but he wasn't the person we were looking for. we did help an old lady though, she's 87, thats really old. she's wheelchair-bound, and said there's a vehicle that would come pick her up for her physio at a hospital. she said that all in hokkien, which only dawn and i could understand so we had to translate it for fiona. but she's really a nice lady, talked to dawn and i for quite some time.

fyi, those are 1-room rental flats meant for the elderly and needy that we are visiting. while my group was walking around some 13th storey, i came across this pair of BIRKENSTOCK.

i dont know if you can see the brand from the pic, its rather clear on my screen. so we were curious and we sort of like walked past and peeped inside. we saw 2 bunk beds, 1 crumpler, 1 bilabong pencilcase, another pair of birkenstock and nike.do they seem like they need help? some of the 'residents' at the place were quite weird too.

after eveything ended on time, we left for Marina Square by train. the train was quite packed. so while the rest were in one carriage, kx, gen, melodie and i were in another. then gen said that i look like zz, which wasn't around yesterday. and said he looked like some kinda octopus. so, in conclusion, octopus-zz-me all look alike. (._.l) i should stop hanging around with zhong zi, im always seen with him. even cecilina and josie told me about that too. went to changing appetite at the first floor that looks like the basement because the second floor looks like the first.

the food wasnt the best but the company was fabulous. the usual dinner seating happened again. remember the buffet at some hotel at little india? john came late, and the best spot was reserved for him. i dont know why that spot will always be empty, waiting for you to occupy it. he snapped his specs, so you can call him partial blind till thursday. but he still can see the 'flower'. maybe he heard it. so he sat on the same row of seats as i did, just at the other corner.

so he sent me an sms.

john: never leave seat for me.

melodie using my phone: Haha have fun with your beloved plant!

then john just shouted across the table. "i would point you the finger if i could see you!" then the same 4 of us from the same carriage laughed out really loud. if want to know how john felt, refer to ggscrewed.blogspot. spent like about 2 hours at the restaurant eating and talking. talking and joking around took up the most time. spent another 20min under the centerstage sign discussing where to go next. initial plan was sue anne's place. then melina's. we went to mr. ong's place in the end. its not exactly that near for me. there were 8 of us, 4 followed dong's car and rented some dvd. the rest of us took a cab. at his house in punggol, watched a hilarious movie called 'she's the man' or somewhere along that line, and played bridge.

the best part of the day was during dessert at delifrance at night. there's this super long french name for the dessert i ordered. i cant read that, so i pointed. then i asked the waitress how she read the name of the dish. she said 'banana and walnut'. (._.l) i have eyes, i can see that it is a banana and walnut pie with vanilla ice-cream.

i have come to this confirmation after yesterday. fiona is disgustingly disgusting. gen is slow, but with a tinge of humor to that. melodie is a bit cranky although she looks normal when nothing sets her off. melina is quite slow, quite cranky, quite i dont know how to explain. i still love the ocip team. happy valentine's and total defence day.

look at the above video. if you still dont realise, that is australia. there was a recent forest fire in melbourne as a result of arson. im glad the suspects are already detained. you see, the aussies make you pay for the plastic bags you use in their country down under to help protect the environment. they have so many campaigns to tell people to save the trees, ,use less paper, less of this and less of that. by just having some kind of idiots who set fire not just kill the trees, they killed many trees that did not even have a chance to turn itelf into paper. the koalas and other wildlife are losing their habitat even further. after trying so much to replant the trees, so many is gone just like this. dont you think this is ridiculous? i wouldnt really mind if this comes from the states as i dont think they really care so much about the environment as they claim to, it revolves around 'money without action'.its just ironical, pile of useless aussies.

coming back to singapore, the air from yesterday till today was quite bad. its not exactly that fresh smelling, or not as good compared to previous days. weather is very warm even though the sun is not really somewhere visible and the air is quite still. at least i will still love it if i could see the sunshine.

~
love (luv) noun. to be fond of , desire. a deep and tender feeling of affection for or attatchment or devotion to a person or persons. -Webster's New World Dictionary, Third College Edition.

its Valentine's Day tomorrow, and school's filled with 'love' all around.the balloons that the sc were selling sold out, flowers too. it takes loads of courage to make a confession in front of so many people, but that will make you remember for a lifetime. spending it with some close friends, i mean those that i will feel comfortable having heart to heart talk makes it equally meaningful as well while the rest of the world engage in their own business.

j2 time really flies, its thursday already, the week is gonna be gone real soon. but much happened this 4 days, friendship/valentine's week was quite cool and fun. at least i had some fun, just ask john.

lessons remained pretty much the same, so was my revision at home. yesterday was the CCA signup, the canteen was packed as usual. loads of people here and there, but the sports and fitness reception was rather poor. sad right? i cant help much either, but colleen really talked a lot, and its obvious that she was not convincing enough. had a really good talk with mr. stanley ong who let me play for the college in this year's A' Division badminton tournament. i dont care so much about being a member of badminton, i just want my SGC to look good. it will look quite terrible if i was a member, there's nothing to be proud of. i will get back to sports and fitness after mid-april, the season should end by then.

saturday will be a day out with the ocip peeps. doing local cip and other stuff. really miss the team, hope it will be a good get-together time with everyone. gonna skip the sat service and go the adult sunday service which i dont really enjoy cos its in the morning.

today was a much better day than yesterday, after locking my door and sleep from 9pm to 6am. so no one can disturb me. pe was the same usual stuff. run, push-ups, crunches and tuck jumps. then will play tennis. it will be the same for quite some time.

i met the camp chief (naveen) today around in school, and asked him who else is in discipline com? theres no one else, so it'll be keng cheong, melodie and i. then he added "you must start training for a loud voice, they have to be intimidated when they hear you". zz was with me at that time, and he just start laughing the usual way. i think you could just imagine.

service learning this year for my class shall be at SWAMI, or sunshine welfare action mission. i dont know what on earth is the I in swamI for. its a elderly home, and i've not done much yet though im the service-learning rep and my ct is miss jasmine tan who is also one of the teachers for the ocip selection camp this year.she's been doing most of it, i'll just do the planning(:

this week will be a long one. today is only monday, spending valentine's with the ocip team. mimosa inclusive. friendship week is quite boring, you see all the j1 students crowding in the canteen, the foyer and almost everywhere. its like some mass exodus or animal migration. making it worse will be the different uniforms they wear.

its now MATH TIME! functions, functions, functions, functions and more functions. then integrate then sleep. no life, but i like.

Cause and Effect

everything has its cause, and as a result the effect. now i can use a perfect example o illusstrate this.

Cause: signed up for the National Vertical Marathon CIP.
Effect 1: stayed over at the stuffy badminton hall at NTU. as a result of this, backache.
Effect 2: not enough sleep, because have to wake up at 4am as the bus leaves at 5.
Effect 3: have to stay in the noisy stair-well as the marshall from 6.45am to about 5pm.
Effect 4: bad mood. how bad? piss me off and i'll bash you up. maybe. but its really bad.
Effect 5: too tired to do anything. so the effect 4 i unlikely to happen.i'll still be very unhappy.

learnt a lesson, next time just take part and play. save precious study and sleep time. but i saw many many friends at the marathon. some that i've not seen for quite some time. like rachel, zy, ysabel and yeow yong keng. thats my teacher by the way. also met some of the sports n fitness peeps there.

to end, today was a bad day. i'll sleep the remaining hours away.

you know how photos really dig up memories?i was transferring the ocip photos, so i thought maybe look at them again. all the good and bad moments start to rush back from somewhere in my brain. actually there arent many of the bad ones though. watched the team video again, same feelings. and i think there's a short version of that on youtube. i wonder who posted that, but i guess its melodie since i think she's the only one who has the raw stuff and edit the original video, or make another version. i think the ocip team had a very deep impact on me, im closer to the team than to some of my classmates. its only one more week before we meet again on valentine's to complete the local cip. im not so sure where is it, but i know it will be a good time.

gonna spend the night at ntu with the malaysian and the cambodian, will be playing cards to kill time. will be dead tired by the time i reach home in the evening tomorrow, should see zhengyi and a few others at the vertical marathon.

off to revise for the math bt1 now. i want to keep the A.

just to share a song by Queen. Too Much Love Will Kill You.
Im just the pieces of the man I used to be
Too many bitter tears are raining down on me
Im far away from home
And Ive been facing this alone
For much too long

I feel like no-one ever told the truth to me
About growing up and what a struggle it would b
eIn my tangled state of mind
Ive been looking back to find
Where I went wrong

Too much love will kill you
If you cant make up your mind
Torn between the lover
And the love you leave behind
Youre headed for disaster
cos you never read the signs
Too much love will kill you
Every time

Im just the shadow of the man I used to be
And it seems like theres no way out of this for me
I used to bring you sunshine
Now all I ever do is bring you down
How would it be if you were standing in my shoes
Cant you see that its impossible to choose
No theres no making sense of it
Every way I go Im bound to lose

Too much love will kill you
Just as sure as none at all
Itll drain the power thats in you
Make you plead and scream and crawl
And the pain will make you crazy
Youre the victim of your crime
Too much love will kill you
Every time

Too much love will kill you
Itll make your life a lie
Yes, too much love will kill you
And you wont understand why
Youd give your life, youd sell your soul
But here it comes again
Too much love will kill you
In the end...

im really glad this week is coming to an end soon. but it will just mean the start of another hectic week is near.the new jc1s, at least those few who came to my class on thurs are rather warm and nice. that was what i did not expect, after seeing some that dont look so friendly for the past few days. maybe they are mostly scholars?

the whole week was tough. school ends at thee same time, but go home late for 4 out of the 5 days. monday was because of gym duty. tuesday i went home. wednesday got cca, and im the station master for the new jc1 members. thursday was the ocip training camp briefing. and jasmine tan is one of the teachers in charge. tomorrow have to get to NTU by 9pm, for the national vertical marathon cip. that will last till sunday evening. and i only played my guitar once so far this week. thats bad.

getting ABC for this msa, and the topics for the math bt1 are out today. gotta start practicing, chem too, physics even more. but thinking of the involvements that i have, i guess i will have to start sleeping late. there will be the 128km bike rally, surf n sweat beach soccer, milo tryathlon. then camps will be the sports and fitness camp in june, ocip selection camp in july. talking about this, i dont know why on earth is my photo in the year book under the BADMINTON section. i cant say i've got nothing to do with them, i played the interclass competition last year. and before that i represented tpjc to beat thu han, who rep sajc during pilot pen cup. and glenn just asked me today if i wanted to help them play for the a' div season.but i wont get much out of that though.

2009 has got less than 11 months to go. it will go by fast. lets continue the hunt for the As.

this will be the first post using my new pc. getting frutrated over this machine when i can't connect to the internet. now i can, im lovin it.
saturday was spent doing nothing really productive. went out to samuel's place at highgate walk which is somewhere faraway from tampines for cny visiting. and played several rounds of poker and blackjack. that was the start for saturday. Chingay at the later part of the day was superb, really really really good. but the emcee/Joker had a screwed up sore throat and still had to speak in such a manner, i pity him. i guess i was really lucky to get the category 2 tickets, which was right in front of City Hall at padang. thats where you'll see all the firecrackers and the main show. some pictures would do the job. and i learnt that im too lazy to carry my camera stuff around. they are heavy fyi.people who know me will know that i love the fisheye effect. but who doesn't?tell me if you think the fireworks is nice.

post parade is the City Alive 2009 street party. loads of alcohol, loads of people, loads of everything. there's this dance competition too! its rather cool, atmosphere was really good. wish i could go there again next year.

Sunday was another good day too. new badminton racket, and this new hp pc that im using now. i look forward to the blocktest, the ntu bike rally, surf and sweat, vertical marathon cip, and of course the Milo tryathlon.